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Hen Night Out

10/01/2014
It's kinda a big deal - being a girl and going out for the night. There's the tan, the hair, makeup, polished nails, heels, shaved legs! Not understand? Let us elaborate this humorously for you...
1) Right, the night is young, so you decide to get ready about 9 hours before you’re due to meet up, preferably at one of the girls houses off course, for pre-drinks. 

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2) There you are, in front of your wardrobe in a state of silent hysteria at the vision of having nothing to wear, despite rails and rails of unworn clothes staring right at you. You’re not really in the mood to show off your arms so you opt for sleeves - but that colour won’t go with the heels you want to wear, so you settle on a long sleeved dress - but you’ll be too hot, plus that design will look too fussy with your jewellery and it’s now 11 pm.  You have no time to do your make up right – this is where you know you will be single forever.

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3) You are on your 89th attempt at getting your liquid eyeliner even and consider just wearing sunglasses instead.... here's what we mean...
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4) Your next stop is to your friend’s. You’re buzzing. Ready for your wine/gin/vodka. At this point, you are in AGONY! Your feet are in pain from the heels that doesn’t even match your outfit anyway. If we all just agreed to wear our UGG boots, none of us would be in this situation.


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5) Discussions are now happening, fearing numerous possibilities of drama on the night ahead. This can include the appearance of ex-boyfriends/ex-friends/your ex-boyfriend’s friends. Then, when drama actually occurrs we are genuinely surprised - WHY? 

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6) By now everyone is quite ‘jolly’. This is clear when you friend and you head to the toilets (always together). She is going 'ten to the dozen' with her bronzer brush - your sliently thinking OMG. You’re too drunk to know how to say it to her gently, so you just hope someone else will.

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7) You strut up to the club, trying to best to walk in a straight line towards the bouncers. You gave them a cute smile, pay the admission fee and then head straight for the toilets…even though we don't need to go. While heading this direction, we all take a quick glance around the place to see who’s out tonight....

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8) About four hours later you head to the bar and order shots. And there here is. Your ex - (#@’1”;s-#!"% is happening in your head). You turn to your friends discreetly, alerting them of his presence and they all obey the code – which is NOT looking around to see.

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9) To the dance floor we go! Selfie alert - The next decision is made quick – you all depart for the smoking area. You do this as soon as you see the creepy guy (dying to kiss someone) making an appearance on the dancefloor.

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10) Your struggling in the smoking area, so you ask the hero in the corner wearing the check shirt and dealer boots for a lighter. Despite the fact that your friend is waving one around and that you don’t even smoke. 

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11) You are at a point in the night where you lose your friends. You haven’t the baldest notion who or what these new people are, BUT they don’t seem like murderers, so it’s a grand job.

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12) Creepy guy comes over to you and informs you that your friend is puking in the toilets – ‘Is SHE?! (high-pitched voice), she’ll be grand.’

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13) Finally, what the whole night is actually about! Let the burger see the chip, come to mama.

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14) The next day consists of lounging around in your Pj's with ice lollies, of course - filling each other in on what went down the night before. Standard. 

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